Miserable
by AlmightySponge
Summary: A MxN Fanfic. - A story about rivals inspired by a role-play between rivals. - "Unfortunately for you, Mello, I'm not miserable at all." - on HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Miserable**

**A MelloxNear Fanfic**

**A story about rivals inspired by a role-play by rivals.**

**__**

**A.N. **

**This is the, relatively short, first chapter of my first serial fan fiction 'Miserable'. It is just as the story description implies, a fan fiction inspired by a role-play. Originally me and an old friend of mine began this role-play over MSN, of all things, so the logs I took of it, naturally, required a bit of tweaking in order for me to translate our pathetic early attempts at role-play into an acceptable form for this website. Of course, me and my friend quickly began to adapt to proper role-playing standards and so, as my log of our RP continues, it quickly becomes of a much better quality. So, basically, as of right now, about 99% of the text below is entirely written by myself, and only the dialogue, in rare cases, was from the actual beginning of the role-play. I must also ask for my audience forgiveness for the horribly written introduction. This role-play was started on a whim, and certainly did neither of us plan for it to become nearly as huge as it did, with time. **

**Yeah… so we're talking about hundreds of thousands of words worth of fiction. **

**I'm just going to take some time to upload it all in a presentable fashion.**

**What else… Oh! I'm not sure why I'm putting up this story, seeing as how it was, after all, only a role-play, but I shudder to admit that the only thing I truly miss about that friend, or, the Near character of this fan fiction, was her ability to role-play so well with me.**

**I loved this role-play. In fact, for nearly a year, participating in it was my all-time favourite activity.**

**And, of course, now that title has been reclaimed by videogames once again… e3e**

**Right-o. So, it's cool if no one reviews on this chapter or even so much as bothers to read it. I only put up this introduction because, let's face it, without some kind of a beginning there can be no story. If I could do so without feeling guilty, I would just skip to the good parts and leave out this boring jibba-lab here at the beginning.**

**Count on better chapters coming up.**

**And lots of them.**

**___**

**Credit to Liz. **

**& the magical 'I don't own Death Note' Disclaimer.**

**___**

The silence filling the still workplace, once alive with the activity of the SPK agents, was nearly unbearable. Each and every desk and dormant computer was left forgotten as the two most bitter rivals were facing down, as they always did, after a particularly uneventful day.

The spiteful blonde stood, just steps from the hallway door, awaiting his counterpart's next move in the dodgy bit of their usual competition they seemed to be caught up in, once again. He knew well why he'd originally come to this place, and had, in fact, gone out of his way to place himself inside the same four corners with the man he hated more than any other, but, with every passing moment, couldn't help but to doubt just a fraction more his own ability to give his rival the challenge only the albino deserved.

And, of course, the calculating white-haired boy could only guess as to what was the true reason his long-term rival had sought him out once more. Usually their meetings were short, few, and filled with pointless accusations, mindless violence (of which he never led) and developmental points that never really added up to anything useful. The only thing the younger was sure of, was that, as with every meeting the two shared, he'd best stay on his toes. Who could ever be sure how things would end up, or what it would lead to, this time, anyhow.

Moments passed and all Mello could do was re-run the day's events in his head, one by one, his boredom, his breaking into the SPK headquarters, his meeting with Near, and filing them all away so that he could repeat these same steps should he feel it appropriate to tangle with the albino once again. And Near, of course, was trying to guess what the blonde was thinking, having had little other to go on, and was constantly reminding himself of how very little he cared for the situation at hand. Certainly, a meeting with Mello was always a welcome challenge, but just the thought of how easily the blonde must have been able to break into his fortress that he'd been able to saunter in through the front door so casually.

Then again, Mello worked with the mafia, did he not? Mello himself was certainly never the hacker type, but who was to say he didn't simply have a goonie bother with the technological chore for him?

Still, bothersome. Near made a short mental note to hire himself better security guards very soon.

"So…" the lean blonde began, at last breaking the silence of the dark room, "I'm betting you're wondering why I'm here."

A pale hand travelled up to wind itself in the silvery locks of the owner. "Yes. The thought had crossed my mind that you may be here to acquire some sort of a lead in the Kira case. However, it seems more like Mello to have wandered here simply for some sort of a relief to his boredom."

The blonde frowned, but made no moves for the smaller boy.

At least, not yet.

"I don't see why you constantly go through such a bother as to overcome my building's security services merely so as to provide yourself a momentary occupation. I was yet to know what an incredibly entertaining person I was until you became so frequent a visitor."

Mello clenched the hands that hung limply at his sides and took a small step towards the albino, who was crouched low on the floor, just meters from him. '_No matter what, I need to show Near how much I hate him…'_

It was almost funny how that tiny boy looked in the eerie light of the dimly lit office, he almost look sad. Then again, to Mello, it may have just been the reflective glow from the floor tile highlighting the dimension of his wide sunken eyes.

"But I'm betting…" Near spoke up once again, "That one of the real reasons Mello is here right now is not only for his own good, but also that he wishes his own presence to become a nuisance to me."

A moment of silent plotting passed between the two cautious rivals.

"Am I correct?" the silver haired boy questioned softly.

At last, Mello grinned, his white teeth illuminated, to match his energetic response.

"That's the idea," he replied, "I'm just trying to get in your way so you'll fail and only get more miserable."

_'Miserable…?'_ Near's impossibly large eyes widened just the tiniest fraction._ 'What would make him say such a thing?'_

"I knew you would say that, Mello." The albino lied, "But, unfortunately for you, I'm not miserable at all."

And whether or not it was the truth, a lie, or if the albino even knew himself well enough to be sure if he truly was miserable, he had to return Mello's grin. He convinced himself it was merely common courtesy to do so.

"Don't fucking grin you white shit!" Mello roared, diving for the albino without warning.

_'Why am I doing this already?'_ Mello interrogated himself as he moved towards the younger boy, pinning the smaller body below his own in a few quick moves. The blonde moved swiftly to ensure that both of his rival's arms were being held down to the cool tiled floor, so as to keep the crafty albino for making any shifty moves. As for the rest of his body, Mello hovered above Near, one leg on either side of the boy, so as to support his weight.

Mello let out a sharp intake of breath, trying to steady himself from another one of his commonly uncontrollable outbursts. "I'll make you miserable."

**___**

**Sorry, I'm horrid at sectioning off chapters. Ish kinda like a cliffhanger, right? A**


	2. Chapter 2

**__**

**A.N. **

**This is another chapter similar to the first. Yet again, a large percentage I had to write myself right now because me and my old friend were still role-playing in the typical msn design.**

**You know what I mean, where a typical post is; **

**Hey, bob *walks in through the door* *smiles at bob* How hav u been?**

**. So, yeps, this took me a 'tid to post up. Usually I wouldn't have to write so much, so this is a bother. XDD **

**Now I know how REAL fiction writers feel, neh? **

**Right. On to the chapter. OH! And chapter one was shit, I know, but that doesn't mean I'm forgiving you bitches if you don't EVER review at all! **

**Just kidding… or am I?**

**Just… think about it… I mean, if you start reviewing now, who the frig knows! Maybe you can kick start the good habit of reviewing every chapter of this unholy motherfucker I call a fanfic. **

**___**

**Credit to Liz. **

**& the magical 'I don't own Death Note' Disclaimer.**

**___**

The pale boy looked up at his rival, almost shyly, although his cautious movements only reflected a fraction of the sudden alarm he was feeling. Being trapped below someone you knew very well wished you harm was never somewhere Near had hoped he'd end up, and, even though he knew Mello was quickly losing his temper, a dangerous event, Near felt that he shouldn't allow the fiery blonde to send him off balance. Not by so little an advantage, certainly. Besides, what was Mello's battle declaration again? He was going to make him 'Miserable'?

What ludicrous.

Not from the day he'd come into this world had Near ever used such a word to describe his situation. Not when he'd been officially diagnosed an albino, not when he'd been told that, for the rest of his life, he'd have to cope with his extremely weak physique and condition, not when he'd been orphaned so young and trapped inside a student body of hopelessly nameless children competing towards a goal none of them truly had a chance of obtaining, not _ever_. Really, Near could whole heartedly admit that his life was pretty darn sad, or, at least, he'd had more than his fair share of the downs. But, really, was Near miserable? Had he ever even been something resembling that pathetic frame of mind?

He severely doubted it, in any case.

Near blinked slowly. "Are you sure you can really do that?"

Mello answered instantly, with such a lack of hesitation you'd think he'd prepared his miniature speech.

Which of course, he hadn't. Mello was almost always a sharp tongue, both rival knew this. It was just the vigour is his voice, how steadfast his points seemed, it was deceiving.

"Oh I know I can. I can do things to people, they'll never be the same again. Plus I know what makes you tick, Near, you think you're so smart. You're clueless."

And, with this, as if with a flourish, Mello let go his hold on the albino's wrists and moved his grip instantly to either side of the soft white blouse the latter donned. With a swift action he pulled the two sides of the shirt open, wrenching apart the fabric that concealed the fragile chest of the younger and sent the tiny pearled buttons skittering across the cool tile floor.

Seconds later, after the shock of the action had sunk in, Near sat froze. To himself, he couldn't help but wonder why his rival had made such a sudden and bold move on him. Was there some sort of a sexual point to this move, or was it merely Mello trying to prove his point, of wishing to be a nuisance to Near, from earlier and this was just a measure the blonde was taking in order to get into the albino's comfort zone? As Near slowly, but with only partial confidence, decided that it must be the latter reason, he sat up and raised his head just the slightest, eyeing each of the buttons that now lay, discarded, on the glowing floor, counting each one as he went. Then, after a long moment, his gaze returns to his rival.

"Really, do you really know?"

Perhaps testing Mello wasn't the smartest move judging from his current position but when had Near ever considered himself the type to never bite off more than he could chew?

"You don't come to hate a person like I do you without knowing a few things about them. Like their weaknesses and... sensitive areas." the blonde hissed back down at his rival.

Mello used one of his now free hands to take both of Near's wrists in a single clutch and pin them to the floor once again. Revelling in his overall advantage on the other boy, due to both their compared size and strength, he also placed one of his hands on the younger's chest, directly in the middle of the pale untouched skin so very few had laid eyes on before him. Mello could feel the impeccable surface of his counterpart's diaphragm below his finger tips and couldn't help but think for a moment about how this whole experience was reflecting on him. Was this whole bout of the office floor something Mello was using to inconvenience the boy he hated, or to help to satisfy his own undeniable urges?

But, either way, he was having enough fun for the both of them, right now.

Near opened his mouth to respond to the blonde's hefty remark but, after a moment's consideration, withdrew from what he had originally planned to say. His dark eyes instead flicked from the direction of his trapped wrists to the hand laid upon his bare chest.

And, at last, he spoke, for once a genuine statement and not at all one meant to annoy the blonde.

"Unless everything you think you knew about me, up to this point in our relationship, is nothing but an elaborate façade I created to confuse you."

Mello huffed in annoyance.

"You may think yourself the puppet master pulling all us mindless pawns along on your little strings, what with your pathetically creepy little finger puppet toys and all that, but, Near, this is real life now and you can't control me like one of your toys." He smiled slyly, "You're just trying to stay in control, aren't you?"

"Of course not, Mello, but one must be prepared for all situations, Shouldn't they?" Near replied immediately with another miniscule grin on his part before glancing back down to Mello's hand. "And maybe, you _do_ know me. But there is a fifty percent chance that the me you thought you knew is completely fake, and that you are one hundred percent wrong. But, of course, surely you must have already realised that."

Mello frowned, grinding his teeth together.

"That's… impossible, Near… I studied you like I would any opponent. That's what it means to be a true competitor. I know how you remain distant from other and especially about how you dislike physical contact simply because you're naturally so fragile. Mostly because you're afraid you'll break if you're handled roughly. I'm not wrong, Near." Mello continued, "There's a fifty percent chance I missed a detail or two because of my negative bias towards you, hating you so much, and the fact that something so small may have prevented me from truly understanding you, but only in a positive way. On the other hand, little Near, I've used by general dislike of you as a tool and I've picked up on every little flinch from you."

Mello's hand slid up Near's chest, grazing the pearly skin as it went, past his neck and took a hold of the smaller boy's chin, lifting it upwards to meet his own gaze.

Near's eyes went wide for a minute, before speaking softly, "No…"

He paused after that, staring back at his rival rather intensely, refusing to break the eye contact.

"Of course, what I meant to say…" What he meant to say was that Mello had been, it seemed, quite more observant than he had first expected. "…Is that a 'detail or two', as you so plainly put it, could be of important to your findings. And, until you have exhausted every option can you be sure that this will make me… miserable?"

**___**

**As of right now, according to my role-play log and computer calculator we have passed approximately 0.08% of this fan fiction.**

**And this isn't counting anything I'm planning to throw in, such as that adorable little Christmas chapter I originally wanted to use but completed on a date far too late to have been appropriate… ^3^;**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.**

**Hey, so I was thinking, maybe people could review giving me some idea for later stuffs to happen in this fanfic? Sound like a plan? Good. **

**No reason I can't fanceh up this old fic, right? **

**___**

**Credit to Liz. **

**& the magical 'I don't own Death Note' Disclaimer.**

**___**

"I see…"Mello began hesitantly, considering the albino's point. "I suppose small things could amount to something… but what would it matter anyway, knowing what makes you feel good? It isn't like I honestly care about making you happy, the whole reason I'm here right now, and have interacted with you at any time in the past was so that I could learn to hate you and make you hate me back." He paused and took a deep breath, tightening his grip around Near's dainty wrists.

Mello's aqua eyes pointed towards the ceiling, as though he were thinking, and then his gaze dropped to the pale boy beneath him once again. "I don't care enough about you to want to make you happy, I only want to hurt you. It is with this knowledge that I will make you miserable."

As Near fully realised the validity of Mello's actions, he didn't much feel like acknowledging that right now. He had also considered struggling against Mello's advances, but he also felt certain that he shouldn't have to respond in a way that was irrational and completely appropriate. True, Mello was beginning to invade his comfort zone but that didn't mean he should resort to reacting exactly how Mello had wanted him to, like someone in distress. So, instead, Near settled for a much quieter, sensible response.

"Though not knowing what I enjoy is sure to have it's drawbacks," he began, wiggling his fingers in Mello's tight grip. "If you knew what made me happy, then in turn, it would have been easier to make me unhappy. Instead of going through the process the hard way, you could have learned early on, and done the exact opposite."

And, of course, in the most indirect fashion, this was Near's was of suggesting to the blonde that they, perhaps, could have been friends in the beginning, instead of the sworn rivals they had always been.

Near stopped to take a breath, daring to take another glance towards Mello before his eyes occupied a part of the ceiling instead.

"And while I do admit… this is…" A pause, "…exceedingly uncomfortable…" Near trailed off, his words getting quieter and quieter until they stopped completely. "It is not, in the least, terrifying."

Mello stiffened as he listened to what Near was saying, making note of how the albino struggled with each sentence before saying it. He was certain that, if in the very least, we was forcing Near to think. Alongside this, Mello had to admit that Near's logic was not disagreeable. He had to admit that it was true he'd have a hard time understanding both sides of what made Near tick, because everyone, including the seemingly emotionless boy below him, has two opposing tides tugging away from them. Their fears and their desires, perfectly in reverse of each other, but both crucial in understanding one's identity.

He knew that Near would shy away from physical contact, so he made to be closer to Near, to touch him, to be rough with his hands instead of gentle as he knew Near would have perfered him to be. Mello had always noticed how Near distanced himself from others, not only physically, but emotionally, often unwilling to look up from his piddly toys and puzzles, and almost never looking anyone in the eyes.

So many times in the past, he'd gone out of his way to make sure that Near saw him. Interfering with the boy and his own personal life in every way possible simply to constantly remind Near that Mello existed and was not going anywhere anytime soon. Ignoring the great Mello was never an option. Still, Mello's eyes narrowed harshly when he heard Near's last remark. All his planning, these brave advances, he'd been so certain he'd have the little white boy shivering beneath him by this rough embrace, yet... A lack of comfort? That was it? Nothing more than a mere sense of disturbance was his reward.

Mello refused to accept that.

"I will terrify you yet, you little ass." Mello snapped, releasing Near's wrists for a few seconds before using his free hands to pick the paler, smaller boy from the spot on the floor and throw him unto the nearest wall, pinning him there, being not at all gentle as he crushed Near's tiny frame to the wall. "I thought perhaps I'd be able to frighten you, but if that will not do..."

Near had not expected that, when Mello pulled him from the hard ground, he was going to be projectiled into a wall. It made his shoulders ache, because he hadn't braced himself for the impact. When Near had tried to simply move away, hoping to use this painful event as his chance to escape from the increasingly threatening blonde, he found he couldn't. It made his eyes go wide, and he couldn't help but to stare at Mello, who was upon him again. Near couldn't deny the panic threatening to overtake him at that moment.

He realized, very soon, that Mello was playing a very dangerous game.

Yes, a game.

Why not? It began, like any game, and it had to have some sort of an ending, whether it be good or bad. A victor would eventually be decided between the players, him and Mello.

And as of this exact moment, Near felt just the tiniest bit suspicious that he may be losing…

**___**

**Review Replies: (because I don't want to bother with answer them all, sorry, I'm lazy, I know…. But, hey! This way the extra text makes my update look larger! X3)**

**aurora: Thanks so much, glad to see you'll be watching for updates. **

**Severe Cabbage: Ha! Thanks. As of this point in my fanfic I've had to turn the shittiest MSN role-playing into something presentable. Of course, later, my work will be more along the lines of not re-writing everything, just fixing the back and forth between Mello and Near so that it flows better. Apart from that, I'm glad you like the overall mood of this fanfic seeing as how, from start to finish, this role-play was all dark plotting and the competition between the two. As I said, originally this was a role-play between rivals, as we got better and better at role-playing, we were always trying our best to show up the other's posts so there is a lot of psychological points and internal discussions in this fanfic, naturally. **

**So, yeh, there's sex and all that good stuff, but a lot of analysis as well.**

**Forbiddensoul562: Hah! I don't know what it says about you, but it must say the same about me! I also didn't notice when they moved the 'review' button and so I have been faving WAY too many stories lately. Before I never used to favourite any, simply because I only used to use this account for reviewing, but, neh, faves is faves. Juuuust goes to show you why they should NEVER change around the placement of things because lord knows it fucks up those of us WAY too comfy using this site. **

**Also, I apologize for the dialogue at this point. I can admit to having tweaked quite a few lines from their original form, up to this point, simply because they didn't really make sense the way they were. ~ I'm glad you loves the fluff, though. The… er… the sex scenes kind of vary in fluffy-ness amount… BUT THERE IS SOME! For shiz, it comes later. For a while there is a lot of coldness between the two, but I know that later there's lots of scenes you'd like.**

**And geez… I hope I saved that Christmas chapter… I won't be able to use it for a while yet… but it was so cute. XD I'm pretty sure I nicked it off somewhere… *searches***


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N.**

**Another short chapter… meh…**

**___**

**Credit to Liz**

**& the magical 'I don't own Death Note' Disclaimer.**

**__**

"So you are moving on to physical abuse as a last resort, Mello?" Near tried not to stutter, or let his breathing become shaky. He merely looked at the other. He knew too well that he could never show his rival how worried for his own well-being he was at this very moment. Doing so would be showing Mello exactly what he wanted to see, something Near's pride refused to allow. "…and I thought you better than that."

"I really don't think you're in the position to criticize me, Near. It's clear that you're feeling pain right now, and that you weren't prepared for me to throw you against a wall like that... In fact, just from the look you had on your face when you hit this wall I could tell you were scared, to say the very least. And... if that is so, then I must be succeeding, if only slightly, in frightening you."

Mello leant in rather abruptly, burying his face in the small area between Near's head and his shoulder, ghosting his breath the paler boy's cheek, brushing his lips against Near's ear there softly before speaking again. "And fear leads to misery."

With that, Mello expertly sunk his teeth into the lower part of the albino's ear, tugging on the lobe expertly, tightly enough to irritate the sensitive skin. Then his long arms relaxed, momentarily releasing Near's wrists as his fingers slid down the boy's pale arms, his fingernails leaving painful red marks in their wake as they fell, stopping to rest upon Near's elbows as Mello released his breath. He moved once again after a short silence when he began to lick the soft shell of Near's ear, pausing after a moment, and smiling briefly before his hands tightened and took firm hold around Near's pale shoulders. The, without warning, Mello crashed him against the wall again, grinning maliciously at the younger boy's resulting surprise.

"I'm not _'resorting'_ to anything Near." he hissed, "In fact, everything is going perfectly to plan."

Near could feel his lower stomach churn, swarming with anxiety. These actions from Mello were greatly contradicting themselves, and he was sure that that had been Mello's intent. The soft touches almost seemed romantic and, at first, Near wasn't sure whether he liked the way it felt to be handled to gently, or not. But, of course, the second he felt completely comfortable led one direction Mello tossed him a curveball, and the albino boy couldn't help but wince once more with the renewed pain from his second collision with the wall.

And besides, Mello was right. He had not been prepared for the rough treatment, He was right when he spoke of Near showing his own discomfort with the situation. Yet, Near still could find at least one minor detail of the blonde's speech that he disagreed with.

Pain did not necessarily cause misery. Pain, fortunately, when given in large doses, causes the brain to let loose endorphins to ease the body's suffering. And the fear of having pain could raise your awareness, the anxiety would cause adrenaline to flow. He had heard that given these circumstances, in some cases, prolonged agony could very well lead to unhappiness. Near knew Mello was not one hundred percent wrong in his theory, but was his method going to prove effective?

"A plan?" Near began softly, his voice shaking, "Does this mean you have a sadistic streak in you Mello? I knew it. But to use it so early on in the game... Are you becoming impatient with me?" If anything, Near sounded …interested, and possibly amused.

Mello became aware of Near's voice, like an unsteady wind chime, vibrating at first and then ringing out dully, as if he were trying to maintain confidence through his words, but failing ever so slightly as Mello was certain that things were currently bending to his liking.

"Of course I'm sadistic, I can kill when I need to, but that changes nothing, there is no pleasure in an empty soul losing itself upon the end of my bullet. What I really enjoy is that rare opportunity to give someone real pain, lasting pain. Pain that will haunt their mind for a long, long time."

Mello grinned.

"I am most certainly not impatient in this situation, Near."

Regardless of his strong want to touch Near in such a way, Mello had thus far, in his life, managed to avoid doing so, a mere scuffle or slap now and then, but nothing this intense. Mello could almost feel himself salivate at the prospect of bringing pain to Near through sexual means, and he knew that this would come to pass, if nothing strayed from his plans. The blonde could never deny how anxious he was to see what Near would do, what would happen to the rag doll cowering below him when put into such a situation, what that sun starved skin would taste like when it trembled. He wanted more than just an ear.

He relinquished his grip on Near's shoulders and instead took him by the sides of his head and chest, lowering him to the ground, off of the wall and unto the floor below. He then slid his own frame overtop of the smaller one, kneeling above the boy, and stopped for a moment, one hand resting upon Near's shoulder, from which his ill-fitting white top had nearly fallen from, and one on the soft skin found of the albino's chest, just above his heart.

Mello stared down upon him, blue eyes piercing through the bland ones of the boy below him, as if daring him to try to run away. To fight back.

And, for the first time in a very, very long while, Near was unable to decide what move to make next. He had always succeeded at thinking ahead, Planning the most strategic ways to win over in every game he played. Chess, Checkers, every board game he could get his grasping, greedy fingers on. Every toy, every tower. Every tiny puppet.

But not now. Now, Near didn't know what to do.

This whole situation was bizarre and strange to him. Something was stirring in his gut at every touch, every move the blonde made. It showed in his uneven breathing, his flinching responses to Mello's touch. Even in his gaze, which never kept eye contact with Mello's for very long. His heart was beating quickly as well, Pounding against the confines of his ribs and porcelain skin. He was sure Mello could feel it, Bounding and jumping with the panic, anxiety, perhaps, even wonder. A wonder to what would happen next or the fear of being pummelled into the unknown, where Near was left without his logical explanations and bland nature. A place he feared, where he was open, and unsure of the sky coloured eyes observing him. His walls of intellect were of no help to him here.

What should he do? Certainly the most ethical explanation would be to fight back. Remove himself from the floor and vacate the premises. His mind told him to do it -- leave, _now_. That this was highly inappropriate and should be stopped immediately.

…But part of him wanted to see what would happen next, what Mello would do. The blonde was never predictable, and it made him all the more interesting. Enticing, even.

But which would he listen to?

Confused, Near moved. His actions were unsure and slow, as he tried to sit up.

"Mello," He whispered, trying to hide the obvious stutter in his voice. The volume made it less noticeable, "what are you doing? This is ridiculous. "

___

**YEH! RIDUNKULOUS.**

**Review replies:**

**Forbiddensoul562: Ahh! T^T Don't blame me for Near being so darn confuzzling! XDD I was the Mello, remember? Although, really, I can take the blame. My story is probably SO horribly written, I'm sure. I mean, I'm a role-play girl, not a fanfic girl, and I probably fudged up the translating at some point…**

**Still, blame Near. X] But really, thank you for pointing it out to me, I appreciate the constructive criticism. I don't mind tips, but flamers bother me. D That's all.**

**SPELLING ERRORS! DX LOL, but I re-read it! *flails* I suppose I'm paying too much attention to my friend's Ocarina of Time game playing right now, next to me, as I write… :] **

**And thanks, any ideas is fine. Don't worry about having no idea where this is leading. Although me and my friend never TECHNICALLY finished the role-play, I've always had this idea of how it would end in my mind, so, trust me, it IS going somewhere, just, right now, it isn't... really... .;;**

**Which is what makes it so much easier for me to throw extra stuff in there. **

**EDIT: I went through and fixed the spelling mistakes I could find. It was because practically all of them were me saying 'was' instead of 'way'. e3e That would be why my eyes didn't pick up on them right away… *ker sigh***

**Severe Cabbage: Oh, DEFINTELY! There can't be ANY kind of interaction between Mello and Near without their competitiveness creeping into it. Nothing's just like; 'What's up?' 'Oh not much.' 'You have something stuck in your teeth.' 'Ah, okay. Thanks.'**

**Ah… well, I hope I can make their arguments convincing. Unfortunately me, and my friend, well… I don't really think either of us was a genius. (Technically, my IQ is just below genius, actually. ^^;; *bummer*) So, yep, I'll just do my best to make things interesting. X]**

**And thanks for the spelling complement. 3 I does my best. I'll keep trying harder not to phail!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N.**

**This is the first lemon chapter, I just thought I'd warn those of you who might not like that kind of thing. ^^;;**

**___**

**Credit to Liz.**

**& the magical 'I don't own Death Note' Disclaimer.**

**___**

As Near began to sit up, Mello had no choice but to withdraw slightly, as he'd been kneeling directly overtop of the boy, and the sudden closeness of Near rising towards him was a little too sudden for his liking. He didn't move much though, not wanting Near to take this to his advantage. Instead, Mello grinned slyly, allowing his hand, once rested upon Near's uncovered chest, to fall with the albino's movements, dropping to rest instead on a much more sensitive area, just above the hip. One of his fingers stroked the pale skin there very softly, but it was only a tiny twitch.

When Mello moved back, though it was only slightly, Near felt a sense of battle. It reminded him of few movies he'd watched in the past -- Two people fighting over a goal, or prize to be won. And, of course, this situation was different, but the same, in ways, as well. Mello and Near had forever been rivals, competing against one another. In most cases, the blonde had seemed more competitive than his counterpart, but this didn't mean that Near wasn't in the game.

This thought gave Near a shot of confidence, even though he was trembling from the close proximity, from the smug smirk on Mello's face, and the touch to his abdomen. He twitched, too in-depth to break eye contact, no matter how much he yearned to look elsewhere. Anywhere but those clear, pricing eyes.

It was difficult, for Mello, to resist going lower, but listening to Near's unsure and trembling voice was too much for anything other than his complete attention, so he'd have to put off that notion, at least for the time being.

"I'm trying to make you miserable," Mello replied once he was certain that Near had finished, "Although, up to this point, it seems that all I've accomplished is making you shocked, once or twice, slightly confused, and perhaps even bored. I'm enjoying my strides, but it is you who has become impatient with me, isn't it Near? You think this is all fun and games? Do you think I'm one of your ugly little finger puppets that you can manoeuvre here and there to your liking?"

He took a short look at the pale boy, trying to read his almost inexistent expression. Near must have been afraid. Mello was certain that he'd never been touched in such a way before, handled so roughly, or analyzed so perfectly, all of it _had_ to be intimidating.

"I'm going to enjoy this, and you're going to hate it, regardless of whether you think it is ridiculous, or try to fight back, I am going to continue. This is getting far too interesting." Mello demanded as his hand slid underneath the oversized waist of the white trousers Near wore, resting of Near's upper leg, stroking his hip, and creeping towards the soft skin on Near's inner thy.

Mello's heart pounded with excitement at this, but his eyes did not stray from Near's face, he wanted to see the resulting expression, it was something he needed to see. And Mello's patience was rewarded quite well as Near felt Mello's hand delve past the elastic band of his pants and the younger boy's eyes went, almost humorously, wide. Near had gone tense, lips trembling, hands balled into fists on the ground by his sides.

What was Mello doing? What had come over his opposite? It was overwhelming. The wonder, the anxiety. Touch alone made him uncomfortable, but this was stepping over boundaries, and pushing his limit. Near decided it was definitely too much, too quickly.

"D-don't--!" His voice was louder this time, echoing in the empty space they both shared. Suddenly he was kicking and wriggling around on the floor, pushing on Mello to try and remove himself from the situation.

"Don't do that!"

Mello chuckled victoriously as he watched Near fuss the way he'd known would happen. He didn't remove his hand from it's spot there at all, instead Mello dared to move further, slipping his finger beneath the top band around Near's undergarment, feeling the heat of the area below the last piece of clothing Near had to protect himself from Mello's bold hands. He couldn't help but crack a toothy grin, his eyes still glued to the snowy-haired boy's frantic expression.

"Don't put up such a fuss," he scolded, using his free hand to take Near by the shoulder and roughly slam him to the floor below, the boy's head inches away from hitting the wall. Mello had to admit he was grateful that Near had been far enough away, if his rival was out cold there'd be no fun to this. There was no point in playing around with a lifeless body. What reactions would Mello be able to get from Near, then?

"Shh..." he hushed, feeling the amazing weakness of the boy below him as he leant inwards towards the floor, pressing his mouth to Near's cheeks, touching them softly there before moving and hovering over the boy's brow. Mello positioned himself more comfortably before continuing on his way and moving in, underneath Near's unmentionables, and he lay his hand overtop of the fragile anatomy that lay there.

He laughed softly, pressing his cheek to Near's forehead. "How does that feel, sheep-boy? Do you feel weak?"

Near knew, secretly, that his frantic and feeble attempts to thwart Mello's hands wouldn't be enough. The one downside to spending all your time nurturing the mental side of your body was that the physical side wasn't very strong. In fact, he barely had anything to hold against Mello's strength. Near barely ate, and his metabolism took care of any unwanted body fat, but, unfortunately, this meant his body mass had no muscle. The albino had never bothered to learn how to defend himself, since he'd never seen the need to, until now.

But, for an instant, he now wished he had broadened his activities to something more then puzzles and games. Now that he was on his back again, Mello's hand grasping the most responsive, sensitive organ on his body. He felt small, tiny, unable. The fuss he was making was now limited to his hand, which could only hit lightly against the blonde's shoulders.

"S-stop i-it, Mello. I-it's inappropriate!" He choked out through tight breaths.

Near couldn't believe it. Never, in his wildest dreams, would he ever have imagined something like this would be happening to him. It must be a joke, he was falling victim to. That, or some wicked nightmare, that was truly no so wicked after all, because, even though he was overwhelmed with emotion, and it terrified him, he could feel himself responding to even the tiniest of touches. This was all so foreign, so new.

"Don't!--"

Mello was too excited now, with his heart pounding in his ears, to be able to hear a thing of whatever nonsense Near was stammering. Moments ago he'd been so keen on hearing every last comment the boy had to share, and now all Mello could focus on was his hand. Near's soft privates were warm below his grasp as he made care to wrap his fingers around it delicately, so that everything was secure. Mello knew he had to be sure he did this right, and well, since he may never get another chance to repeat these actions, in the future.

He needed to do this properly, and Mello was pretty sure he knew how.

The blonde liked how he could feel Near's insignificant little fist pounding away upon his shoulder, it was like the most pathetic, feeble little attempt at self-defence he'd ever witnessed before. Was Near really that weak? Or was it all a fake-out, and Near was pretending not to enjoy it, in order to defend his pride.

"I can't tell Near," Mello said, his fingers beginning to work with his hand, jerking the warm anatomy they were wrapped around to life and slowly becoming more intense with each stroke. "If you're honestly uncomfortable with this or just pretending to be in order to goad me on further."

"Sometimes you can be difficult to read," Mello continued, his fingers working away between Near's legs, "But, in this case, it changes nothing, I can simply make this painful for you, whilst entertaining for me, and I'll still get what I want, sound good?"

It was overwhelming. Near had never felt so many sensations at once, and, as he laid there, unable to do much other than ponder, he'd come to a disturbing revelation. He may actually like this, this touch that felt so extremely devious, and wrong, and _dirty_. He couldn't help but admire Mello for being so brave in his quest for vengeance. All those times he had studied his foe, and prepared for any situations Mello may bring this competition to, Near had never been ready for what he was feeling now, he never thought he would need to be.

_'That's it Near.'_ Mello thought to himself, gleefully watching Near's lower lip twitch with the excitement. _'That's right. I'm going to give you the greatest pleasure you've felt, and then turn it into pain. Just keep falling into my hands, you pathetic toy of mine.'_

Near could feel his gut twirling and spinning, the trembling organ now stiff in Mello's hand, and greedily accepting the attention. Unbeknownst to Near, even his hips were trying to speed up the process by jerking and twitching once and a while. And his voice, uneven, as he murmered soft nothings and incomprehendable broken sentences.

He was letting it happen, Near realized.

And he... liked it?

Mello's hand snapped to undivided attention, still jerking away, knowing that his pitiful little rival, cowering below him, was nearing his climax, and, in order to speed this, his index finger raised to the tip of the pulsing organ to stroke the tip.

_'You can't deny it, Near. You don't like this at all, in fact, you hate everything about what is happening to you right now. But apart from that, you love it.'_

It was coming, and quickly. Near knew what it was. His climax. The prize at the end of the journey into pleasure. He wanted it, and, oh, in this moment, he seemd to need it more than the very air he struggled to take in.

But the albino had to wonder, between all his mewls and gutteral noises, his hips moving in time with Mello's hands, and how his lithe fingers clutched helplessly onto Mello's jacket, what would happen after his climax? What would Mello do? Near found himself anticipating it, perhaps, even fearing the outcome. But those thoughts were swept away from the exhausted boy when Near reached his peak, letting out a loud, enticing sound.

It might have lasted for a minute or perhaps even longer, but when he was spent Near flopped in a doll-like fashion to the floor, breathing heavily.

"M-mello..."

**___**

**Review Replies:**

**Forbiddensoul562: Smeheh. Well sorry it took so long for the lemon to kick in, I haven't really changed the order of how the role-play went, there really was some banter before the smexification started to happen, that's just how the original design was. Besides, I don't like fics that are all about the sex. Those pointless one shot sex fics are totally lame and I can rarely even get the slightest inspiration by those kind of things. ESPECIALLY all those durned MelloxMatt ones floating around on this site. Not to say I mind a fic with sexual scenes in it, because I don't, and often it adds to the story, but it definitely isn't a requirement, you know what I mean? A good story, for me, is one that gets you REALLY interested. **

**Obey me… hurm… I think I recognize that name… *goes to look up***

**OH! This one! I remember it, that was the one with the bondage smex and whatnot. XDD It was great except that scene with Gevanni. He forever creeps me out, now. *shudder* Ahhh… that fic had such a cute ending… XD Hey! If you look in 'reviews' for that story I'm in there quite a few times! **

**Nyeh. Oh, and thanks for the alert. I guess I'm a horrible typer. ^^;; Always making all these damn mistakes… Hee, just let me know if I spell anything REALLY wrong, okay? For instance, I one had a friend who wrote fanfics that once accidentally used the word 'shit' ínstead of 'shirt'. **

**Bad times.**

**caught-myself012: XD Thankyou. You think it's a funny story, REALLY? There is a lot of funny parts, in my opinion, but they don't all come till later. **

**This is actually a kind of gloomy part of the story we're at right here, but, whatever.**

**LuxEterna: Thanks! I'm glad you like the story! You'll fine, as it continues, the moods of this fanfic are going to vary a LOT. X3 Cute, sadistic, funny, crazy, mysterious, scary, depressing, heart warming, and lots of Mattitude. XD Just you wait. Lawl.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.**

**Sorry for the wait, there. I got a little distracted by somebody. ^^ Turns out has helped me to find a new Near! We've been doing some new role-plays, all just for fun and practice, of course... unless she actually plans on making them into fics like she keeps threatening to... O.;; But, we'll see. In any case, not only did she beta this chapter for me, but she also is considering helping me to finish this fic by role-playing as Near, for me, and picking up the story where my old Near left off.**

**This is pretty good news for Miserable, and I know this update was slow, but I intend to continue updating, even if the periods in between are as large as this last one. I'm more of a writing when I'm in the mood, kind of person, so you all should expect very unevenly spaced chapter updates, though. So who knows when!**

**On with the chapter.**

**___**

**Credit to Liz**

**& the magical 'I don't own Death Note' Disclaimer.**

**___**

Mello was ready seconds before Near climaxed, and braced himself for it by stopping his breath, which had been growing steadily heavier up until that point, so that he could listen to the sound of the paler boy reaching release, and the deep panting that he knew would follow. Just the sound of Near yelling as he hit his sweet spot was enough to satisfy Mello's cravings, and watching the albino fall backwards to the ground and utter his name ever so softly as no more than a desperate sounding whisper, was too precious to the blonde that had never seen his rival's emotional side, before. Near was in a euphoria, having reached a pleasure he would never have dreamed possible, and he had achieved it at the hands of the one who hated him more than any other, the one he'd been trained to surpass. Mello loved it, but could only take a few moments to savour the indescribable feeling of power that overwhelmed him, as there was still much more work to be done yet.

He still had to crush Near.

Mello released the younger male's privates, that had already begun to sink back into their usual size and pulled his hand out the band of Near's trousers, flicking the traces of white liquid left over from Near's erection casually off his hand, and distancing himself ever-so-slightly from the albino that shivered on the floor below.

He then gave Near a look of absolute loathing.

"I bet you enjoyed that, didn't you? You little brat. I can tell just from the look on your face that you did. I know how unbelievably scared you are right now, scared of what I can do to you, Near." Mello gloated, with a small smirk creeping up from the corners of his mouth, "I can tell what you're thinking; _'Oh no! If he can make me feel that good then he can surely make me feel just as bad.'_"

Mello sneered. "You can't hide it from me."

Near didn't have any choice but to listen to Mello's cruel, but true words. He was relaxed and sedated now that his need had been taken care of, and, oh, in what a way it had been, by the hands of his rival, no less.

The albino opened his eyes, staring up at Mello just in time to catch the look of absolute hatred in those clear blue eyes. It made Near flinch, and if looks could kill, the genius knew that he'd be dead that very moment. The words Mello had thrown at him stung a great deal, it was a blow to his pride to see that Mello knew exactly what he was thinking. Near had always made a point of distancing himself from others, keeping the world at a distance, and here Mello was, reading him like a book.

" I-I…" For once, Near didn't have any sort of intelligent remark. Another strategy occurred to the albino, and with no better weapon handy, he settled upon speaking his mind, for once. Perhaps it would throw the other off.

"Your right, Mello. Everything you just said …is correct."

Mello's eyes widened slightly, surprised to hear Near's reply, he'd never expected Near to verbally admit defeat.

Near was a child, both in appearance, and at heart, and children loved to win. Mello would never deny sharing that trait with the despicable albino, but Near was particularly all-knowing in his incredible brilliance and had a knack for always coming out on top, leaving Mello in the dust at every opportunity. The blonde had known this forever. Near never had to say sorry because he'd never needed to. He never slipped up.

_'If Near truly is agreeing with me, then I must be doing very well.'_

Mello was grinning inwardly, and the thought had briefly crossed his mind that he'd finally won and could now leave this place. Be on his merry way with his pride intact of having royally trounced Near. But then he knew very well that this was not the end. This whole situation hadn't started as some kind of sick game to see who could analyze the other better, or who knew what about whom, no, it was a challenge from Near to make him miserable. And he still had not achieved that. A miserable Near would be a sorry wreck. Crying, whimpering, bleeding, possibly, nothing of which the boy below him was currently exhibiting. This was not over. Not by a long shot.

"So glad to hear you've finally come to terms with your loss by my superior intelligence, Near. Never figured you'd be so weak, so anxious to admit your failure. But everyone is full of surprises. You and I as well."

Mello's hands brushed slowly over the pale skin of the younger boy, skimming the soft and most sensitive areas of his chest before finding the ends of his torn, collared shirt, the white blouse he'd always worn, and took hold of the sleeves and collar, lifting the fabric away from his body, so that Near was shirtless. He carelessly tossed the article, away, to his left, which was far enough away that Near could not grab for it and lowered himself to the body of the shivering boy beneath him, pressing his mouth to the neck of his pale rival before biting the fragile flesh. It was no more than a small nip, unlikely to break the flesh, Mello only wanted to bestow pain on his enemy. The blonde wanted to use sex as a weapon with which he could use to further wound the boy.

"But I think, Near, that I am still in your mind. You've attempted to expel me from the thoughts I've been so perfectly foretelling, but have failed miserably. I'm betting that, by admitting defeat, you were hoping to dissuade me from continuing this, so I'd revel in my victory and leave you here, to regain your composure. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen, little Near, because I am clearly not as stupid as you must think I am. I promised you misery, and misery you shall have."

Near wasn't too surprised when Mello instantly saw through his lie. That he would admit his "defeat" so quickly was absurd, but it something completely out of the blue that was meant to throw his blonde counterpart off, even if only for a minute. He wondered then why he was letting Mello toy with him like this. Why he was allowing these harsh touches and rough treatments when physical contact alone made him quiver with distaste.

The albino knew he was smart, a genius, he'd been told. So the big question was; Why was he allowing this to happen?

Because Near liked games, even if he wasn't the one playing them.

Right now they were playing a game that Mello created, where he seemed to be nothing more than a toy the blonde was meant to mistreat. It was a dangerous game they were both fixated upon.

Near found himself holding onto Mello's shoulders again, this time more firmly than he had before, noting the fact that his rival still had fabric shielding his upper body, was still completely clothed, and this small fact could be taken as a huge advantage against someone who valued privacy to the extent in which Near did. But, despite this, he couldn't help but grin, if only just slightly.

"Quite the contrary, Mello. I may be weak, physically, but mentally…" Now he was trying to egg the other on. He was trying to play the game. "I'm quite strong, wouldn't you agree? And wouldn't you say that even though you've been dissecting me, Mello, there might have been something you missed? Or that perhaps, I have been displaying for you exactly what I think you want to see, to throw you off."

Mello's perfect teeth clenched at this, his lips pressed hard overtop of them to keep from showing his anger.

"Don't toy with me, Near, you little rat." Mello hissed, his face still hung low at Near's neck, his lips brushing the skin there with every word. "You know fully well I've had you cornered since the beginning of this, you're just trying to psyche me out now that you're afraid I know too much. You're just afraid of losing, because you know I'm going to win."

Mello's fingers skimmed down Near's sides, slowly, teasing the skin as they went. The stopped when they reached the albino's hips where his hands dared to stray beneath the waistband of the white pants once again, but did nothing more than linger there, resting upon the quivering flesh.

"All I know is that you're very weak. You're weak in the heart, being unable to sort out your feelings. You're weak in the body, with your inability to resist my physical advances upon you. And of course, you're weak in your resolve, because you know you enjoyed that hand job earlier a little bit more than you wish you had. There may very well be details about you that I've overlooked, until now, but even you must admit it's impossible to truly understand a complex human being. But, as we covered earlier on in our little 'conversation', I feel that knowing every little piece of what makes you as hate-able as you are is irrelevant when I simply wish to torture you. I don't care what makes you happy or proud, or how to make you feel good in the very least, I'd rather die than learn anything positive about you, in fact. I don't care if you ever feel happy again.

Mello took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool. His overactive emotions were threatening to push him over the edge, as they had done so many times before.

"And as for you offering up what I was looking for, 'putting on a show', as it may seem. I find that highly improbable, because your actions contradict each other in such a way that there could be no other reason behind it than that you were reacting to my movements. The way you begged me to stop when I touched you, how you fussed when you couldn't defend yourself from me, and most importantly, how you moaned with pleasure and cooed my name after you came in my hands. This all simply cannot be a rouse; you're acting far too irrationally for it to be anything besides real emotions."

And there was a long pause, where neither male spoke.

"Bravo."

It was all that Near could conjure up, for he was at a loss for words. The blonde's highly motivated and emotional speech had left him without anything to say. Though he had to admit he did enjoy pushing the other into a spiral full of intensity, even if it wasn't in his best interests. The more emotional Mello got, the more likely that he would loose his cool. Thinking irrationally, the blonde may forget his carefully concocted plans. Though it may turn out more violent than Near would have hoped, his challenge now was to throw the blonde off his game, by any means. It was for fun, wasn't it? Weren't all games supposed to be for fun?

Perhaps.

"Of course no one could force or fake those reactions to fool you, when everything is physical, the body may take on a mind of it's own. And though your findings may cause you to think your superior in any way, Mello, I think you are contradicting yourself as well. "

Near shivered under Mello's hands, his own moving slightly. They slid further upon his rival's shoulders, almost testing to see how far the other would let him move. He felt it good to know his boundaries.

"When you say you don't care if I ever feel happy again, you must not be fully aware of what sort of emotions that your previous actions have brought out in me. You want to make me feel miserable, which is clearly the opposite of what you suspected I had felt, after my orgasm. If you're trying to hurt me, by giving me pleasure, and are hoping to confuse me with your actions, you are not being quite as careful as perhaps you ought to be. If I truly am enjoying this, which I may very well be, then you are just wasting your time, and all of this is for nothing. Wouldn't that agitate you, Mello? Wouldn't it?

That was it, enough of these gentle touches and soft little strokes, Mello knew now that he certainly couldn't continue with things the way they were going. Near's strength was in deliberation, so by speaking with the boy, he would never win. They could remain locked in emotional combat forever, but Mello knew all he had to do was overpower Near and he'd be leading the competition once again. It was so easy to do, as well. Mello didn't need to reason his way into hurting Near, he just need to handle him roughly. If things continued the way they were going then, he may even lose. Mello knew he had to turn things around, and knew how.

He instantly withdrew his hands from Near's slacks, took Near forcefully by the shoulders and slammed his tiny frame into the floor, he paused an instant before lifting the pale boy from the ground, into the air, so that he could force him down once again, harder than ever before. He could hear the sickening smack of bare skin crashing into the smooth floor. Mello then used the grip he had on Near's shoulders to rattle him ever so slightly, clenching his fingers, delving his nails into the bare skin, hoping to draw blood.

Near couldn't say anything to derail Mello from this rough treatment. The only sounds coming out of his mouth were loud, shrill yelps, in protest of being slammed into the cold, uninviting floor. It made his body ache and his head throb. His back was riddled with stings and aches, but where Mello had left the indentations of his nails was the worst. It burned in such a way that Near thought perhaps his back was on fire. The only comfort he had was that holding onto Mello seemed to ground him, even though his head was spinning.

"You runt! How dare you question me like that so when I am your superior here, don't you belittle me when I can kill you, Near!"

Mello brought up one of his hands to swat away Near's arms, which had managed to keep grip on his shoulders, even after the pale boy's collision with the floor, replacing his hand, upon the albino's shoulder, moments after.

"And don't you _ever_ touch me, you understand?!"

Even though the pain was doing a great deal to cloud Near's mind, some thoughts snuck in through the mist. Mello had just told him not to touch him, did that mean Mello had qualms with physical contact, just as Near himself did?

No… Certainly not.

He was sure Mello had plenty of physical contact before, being the sociable person he was, but to be touched by someone that the blond loathed so very much. It must have disturbed him, if even a little bit.

This sort of violent treatment frightened him, but he did hold one comfort. Mello could be a highly unpredictable person, but one thing Near knew he could rely on was the blonde's frequent emotional outbursts. There was a fine line separating a sadistic streak, and the mad desire to win. With Mello, he was sure he would have to be at last somewhat careful that he didn't end up crossing that line.

But, for the time being, he couldn't just let himself be beaten to a pulp, he had to at least /try/ to defend himself.

"You can kill me, Mello. But where is the fun in that? " He whispered, squinting to look up at the other while his head ached. "What would you be without me, Mello? Would you still have the same intensity? And what would you do in your spare time, if you had no one to compete with?"

"I don't fucking need you. Don't you think for one second I need you to function, or that I survive off of our competition. As if my intense hatred of you is the only thing that keeps me alive, don't flatter yourself, Near." Mello spat, still somewhat shaky from his outburst, but finding solace in the fact that he was causing Near pain, watching as the other boy struggled to reason with him.

"Without your pitiful existence leaking into my happy thoughts, I'd be able to pursue my dreams properly, I'd never have to share the spot light, or give it up altogether, not ever again. If you didn't exist I'd have one less thing standing in my way, I wouldn't need a goal because, without you to hold me back, my possibilities would be endless. If I ended your meaningless existence right here and now it wouldn't change a damn thing. I can capture Kira without you. In fact, you're not even needed. I could kill you right here and now and never have to hear your snarky little comments ever again. The world would be a damn happier place without you, I'm sure."

Near had to look the least bit smug, because while Mello was expressing his utter distaste and his disbelief, Near knew that part of it was, in some small way, untrue. The way that he had affected Mello's life had not been crucial, or at least, that was how it seemed, but one thing the albino genius knew for certain was that, had he not had an influence on the male hovering over him, upon their earlier years together, then Mello would have ended up an entirely different person than he was at that moment. For the better or for worse, Near couldn't say, but it would've been a significant change, without a doubt. And Near knew that he was, indeed, grateful for Mello's presence in his life. The blonde was someone he had used to test his various theories upon, in the past, and also someone he has observed on many occasions, for his own reasons. He also loved their competition, he thrived for it, and although their relationship may have been considered anything but 'nice' he still relied upon the blonde, just as he knew Mello must have upon him, in order to shape the person he had become.

As for Mello being able to catch Kira by himself, Near wasn't even going to breach that. He wasn't going to tell him that he would surely fail, Like L did, because of his raw emotion and bold moves.

The albino would have liked to have responded to his rival's rant. To prod some more on the subject in order to greater satisfy his longing to see Mello's reactions, but, the blonde was growing constantly closer to him, and had a strange, almost lusty look in his eyes.

Keeping one of his hands on Near's shoulder blade, his grip tightening with each word muttered, Mello brought the other up to Near's face, cupping his chin and cradling it close to the blonde's mouth. He moved forwards with hungry lips and, instead of bestowing a sweet kiss, upon the other boy's lips, as the action may have implied, his teeth clamped over the lower of Near's lips, tugging on it, and forced his tongue down the throat of the paler boy.

_'But I can't kill you yet... I need to enjoy this more... to hurt you more... to make you miserable.'_

And then it happened, a first in Near's books. It was rough, painful because of the bite, and uncomfortable because of the tongue in his throat. Near gagged on it, and lifted his small hands to push against Mello's shoulders, his muffled sounds of protests echoing loudly in the empty room.

It was his first kiss. Why, where else would he have received one before that moment? He'd never even come close to experiencing the intimate situation he was in, at that moment, with his rival, before now. However, this was definitely not how Near had hoped his very first kiss, usually a momentous occasion, would be.

To hear Near choke on his tongue like that only made Mello want more, to go deeper. And so he did, one hand still holding up the pale boy's face to his, and the other keeping Near on the floor, by his shoulder. He could feel the white-clad boy below wrestling, feebly, to fend him off, and Mello had to admit that it was a slight nuisance, Near was resisting more defiantly this time, and that /definitely/ meant he was angering the boy, but still, Near wasn't strong enough to make Mello worry.

He stopped quite suddenly after the rough kiss, and then slowly pulled out of Near's mouth, flashing him a smug smiled before laying his face back down on the spot it had occupied earlier, on Near's neck. The hand that had been holding Near's chin finally released it. Mello understood now how well he had it, in this little 'game' between himself and his rival. If Near had been allowed to speak and protest openly, he would never have been able to match the younger boy's brilliance, no one could, it was simply impossible. Mello knew well that to attack Near in that area was foolish because he should work hard to avoid Near's strengths, and in order to win in this game Mello had to play by his own means, with his own strengths.

Near was slightly grateful when Mello finally ended the kiss, having decided that he'd found his first kiss to be a rather unpleasant experience. It was nothing like he'd expected. Research told him that, generally, a kiss was not the overly-romanticized, five-minute-long smooch displayed in most Hollywood chick flicks, but it was instead supposed to be something that felt good, a romantic and kind gesture from one individual to another, a way of sharing one's genuine feelings, and not at all like the distasteful one he'd just has forced upon him.

_'Then again...'_ Mello thought to himself as one of his legs, that had been up until this point, doing very little other than supporting his weight, began to shift, rising upwards to hook the tips of his toes in the waistband of both Near's white trousers, and underwear, which by sheer luck had also been snagged. In a sweeping movement, as fast as the blink of an eye, Mello straightened his leg, which toe away Near's last remaining clothes, kicking the pile of white garments away with one well aimed jab, and growled a laugh into Near's ear._ '...I don't have to rule out my mental abilities as a weapon. They've done rather well up to this point. I just need to break him a little more, put him on the edge. Then, once he's been destroyed, I'll have no problem winning.'_

"Is it cold in here?"

Suddenly the albino felt a cold rush of air invading his most intimate areas and immediately realized what had just happened. All of a sudden, Near felt vulnerable, exposed to the world with nothing to hide behind. He hated that feeling of overwhelming weakness. So Near, with his eyes wide and trembling, doubled his efforts to keep Mello away, even if he unconsciously knew that it would be in vain

"Don't do that! Give those back--!!"

___

**Review Replies:**

**Severe Cabbage: Hehhh… yeah. Poor little Near. X3 I was so afraid, after having read over that chapter, that it was going to seem that the competition had shifted far too much to Mello's side. I mean, I wouldn't want to throw off the balance, and should Near really be losing so much all of a sudden? LOL, but, of course, then I remembered all the dumb ass stuff Mello does later to make himself totally phail next to Near. It's hilarious, actually! I love role-playing Mello, my favourite parts of the writing is when I get to make him get angrier, angrier, angrier, and then explode, usually exploding on himself, also. It's too much fun! **

**And thanks for the head's-up. Gods, my spelling must really be becoming a problem… ^^;; I will proof-read SO hard this time! **

**Forbiddensoul562:You know, you're right, at this point, 'Miserable' is very similar to 'Obey Me', but, if you think about it, we wrote this stage of the role-play waaay before that fic came out. More than a year ago, like, a year and a half ago. And don't worry, I assure you this fic isn't the same, not AT ALL. **

**You actually have a really interesting idea there, and I could totally work with it, but Mello was this wicked ass speech coming up that I worked so hard on back then and I just HAFF to use it. Oh, wait… I've already posted it… HEH. Well then you know. X] And, really, Mello hasn't broken Near. Not yet. **

**Surprisingly enough, I checked up on your spelling recommendations, and, according to my version of word, which is the Canadian version, just so you know, in case that changes anything, apparently the proper word actually is 'inexistent' and not 'unexistent'! Still, you were right on 'thy', though. Except you said it was 'theigh' not 'thigh' as my spellchecker says it is. But, that's fine, really, thank you for pointing them out for me. I really appreciate it. **

**And, thanks. I'm glad to see you're enjoying it. X] I knows I am.**

**Aiyana: Thank you very much! I'm sorry to hear about your surprisingly similar situation, what with the loss of your friend. ^^;; It's good to see you're not too choked up over it. And thank you very much, I fancy myself a pretty good Mello role-player. However, there IS always room for improvement.**

**Joygasmss.; LOL I'm glad to hear you like it! I'm sure I will. X3**

**____**

UPs to **ForbiddenSoul562** for beta-ing. 3


End file.
